Fragile, rigid, Resilient… my transformation story

Every action has a reaction, the latter changes with our progress. I believe individual’s reactions vary from one previous age to another, originating from no experience or the opposite. The memories of my own life is being correlated to events I’m witnessing with many young and old passengers of our lives. It made me think how I used to be, what I became, how I am right now and what one can become later in life.

We experience the world for the first time, on our first exposure we find ourselves vulnerable, if we lose love, if we lose friends, if we didn’t get what we worked so hard for we breakdown, slowly gluing ourselves back. We were once fragile, we break when our imaginary world collides with the real world, an action that has one of the worse results, it manipulates our world, changing it into another world, suited for someone else, someone I became later.

I welcomed myself to the new world, where things are easier, less attachments will lead to more growth, no more friends who argue with what you say and make you feel less, no more addition to my responsibility list. ‘It’ll reduce the weight, my life will move faster’. I shield my heart from all that can penetrate it with a hard, rigid crust. ‘I am invincible, bulletproof, rigid’. That was the result of my previous collision… an altered universe and an altered mind.

Everything in the world has limits, a yield strength. The shield may have succeeded in preventing external influences, but not the internal ones. The loneliness, the sense of under accomplishment, the illusion that you have no reaction to any action was all building inside the heart, all it takes is time to find out that your shield began to crack, and before you know it, it breaks, you are fragile again. There is no permanent shell, and you stop instead of moving, trying to know what is the real world.

     If wasn’t for what my father had said four years ago, I don’t think I would have become what I am right now. He told me:-

     ‘Life is a very strong current, if you go against it it’ll break you, always keep moving’

I opened my heart for the world, in all its kindness and cruelty. I have accepted it and in return it accepted me. When a door shuts, I don’t shy away, I knock and wait. Every chance must be seized, and every loss will be compensated in the end, and if not, well… that’s life, we bounce to another door, many have been created around us, we keep knocking and exploring, exploring opportunities, friendships, love… we experience life. And the best way to function in it is by becoming resilient.

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