Split Personality Me

On the set of Callous

When I was a kid, there was a repeated question my father used to ask and it came to my mind today. When I was 10 years old I took piano lessons, a hobby my father supported, but at the same time I was having Taekwondo Classes, an activity my dad really disapproved of, though he gave me the freedom to pursue it. He always repeatedly say :”You are an artist, you should be a sensitive guy, why are you doing Taekwondo?”. That question, in its essence, describes me, and the reason why I am thinking about it is because of my works.

To be honest, I was the one surprised from how my father thought about it. Even though I was a kid, I found it strange that many people are surprised when someone has an interest in things that might appear to be dissimilar, and now as a 33 year old grownup-ish kid, I realize that my way of thinking is a base for the ideas that I created throughout and in the coming years. Examples that might shed some light on my obscured topic is the contrast that can be palpate between my first two books; Psychs is a thriller with ghosts… yes, as weird as it might sound, that story has all the characteristics of an action thriller with some scary elements that ended to be a fine blend. So when my next book, Kima, came out some readers expected to taste the same dish. Instead, the folklore story That both appealed to kids and adults tasted sweeter. Another example is the independent movie which I wrote and directed, Callous. Callous is a horror story, and when you hear what podcasters say about it, you would be surprised when you learned about my next work, The Last Mile.

So how can I explain that split personality in my writing? Let me try.

I think it could be traced back to my upbringing. I am by, nationality, Iraqi, but I was not born in Iraq, no, I was born in Kuwait. Now I know what you are thinking; “So you have a Kuwaiti Passport and a couple of oil fields?”. Well, the passport point would be true if I was born in Europe or the Americans or perhaps any place in the world. I couldn’t get a Kuwaiti Passport, so I was born as an expatriate and that’s how I lived my entire life. I traveled and experienced different lives and cultures, made friends from all over the world. Experienced happiness, sadness and melancholy, most probably the latter made me a writer. So that heterogenous combination split my story genres and made them more diverse. I write when I feel excited about an idea that I have, no matter what genre they are in, and I don’t like to stay committed to one genre. Also, every story I write is a combination of genres where I like to play with different emotions, because that’s life, and I like to make my reader relate to anything to their lives, in hopes that it might add something important to theirs’.

My grandmother have left our world

I haven’t posted for almost a week because my family had lost a great piece that made us whole, and we needed time to clear our grief and sorrow that filled her place. I can’t think of her without remembering that every time she ‘s around, smiles and laughter were  always keeping here company. She tells the funniest stories ever and she gave everyone around us nicknames. I won’t share mine, it will be between her and me, and maybe someone special who happens to see her picture around.

Her name was Hadya which means gift in my language, she was a priceless one indeed.

May she finds the peace she always wished for us all.

 

An old picture of her, she looks like a classic Hollywood star

Obsession… what does she do? And how far she will take you?

She is a woman to me, for it is the only way I can relate to how I am… I am obsessed with my ideas. I dream about them, but not too much because she won’t let me sleep. I feel happy when I describe her, I feel off when life gets in the way. She has never let me be, she is always with me. I always feel the need to write, but I am chained by my obligations, while all I really want is to share her story with the world.

We have those moments where we feel like we are fulfilling our destiny, even by doing a simple task… the sense of euphoria that surges within, god’s way to tell us that he is pleased with what we do. I sit in a lecture hall, and I get the feeling like someone is whispering into my ear, she reminds me that she’s here. She shines a light on a new idea, and I find my self treading on the thin line between the real and the unreal, where only my subconscious is awake, and my conscious is not aware of my reality.

How far will she go? Only I can tell by following her to the end…

Your ideas are your purpose, obsession is your guilt from being away from your purpose… make time for your ideas, or she will stop talking to you… once you lose her, you lose your purpose.

Be creative… be happy… be with purpose.

The weight we carry pushes us forward

‘We take our lives one step at a time, laying the pavement before each step’

This figure of speech, of how life goes, is overwhelmingly close to describe our days, as it represent how it can be a labor to live a normal life… let alone to try and accomplish in it.

We ask every day how can we proceed when we carry our own obligations; our families, our educations, our work…. our dreams. The more we introduce, the more hindrance we think we produced to our ongoing lives that we come to think that it came into a halt.

Our complicated lives makes it hard to pin point our true answer, because it is simple… We use our baggage.

I can only use my self as an example, so I hope people can relate.

Once a dropout of college, ex-engaged, who had never read a novel in his entire life. I had a lot of baggage that only keeps adding up. It is in the darkest hours that the light can be more prominent. I added to my baggage education once again, and the thought of writing came after I shared a couple of my ideas. My weight helped me in my ideas, using a clay of my own life in my novels proved to be useful, studying took time and energy, which I applied eventually on my book, I placed some of my medical knowledge I obtained and asked for from my professors. And the fact that I am in a university gave me access to a lot of information, where I could ask about mass communication, business, medicine, pharmacy… and the list goes on. Every time something is added to me, I try to see the good side, and how can it inspire me for my dreams.

So here I am… a published author, still walking when I really want to do is run. But I have to take it one step at a time… with my novels, my studies, and with my new love, who shares my dreams and hopes for our future.

 

Allow what you call weight the chance to inspire… let them speak to you, help you, and carry you onward, never give yourself the chance to stop. If you are a dreamer, then be sure everything that happens is happening for you.

 

What my book cover reveals…

 

This is my book cover… by artist Gida Sameh. She was the one I picked after I talked to her about my book, and after she was able to use her very unique imagination to come up with the idea for the cover.

It represents the transitional phases of my character… Here’s what The cover is trying to say:-

The men in the bottom, middle, and upper left are the same person. The first in the bottom is the time where the truth behind his tragic event of his birth was revealed… it brought him inside an asylum for a while where he, after a brief time with his doctor, learned to love psychiatry.

The second represents one job that he has, he became a psychiatrist, and the knowledge he obtained from that field came in handy with the other job… the one he is aiming a bit higher for.

The third representation on the upper left will be the soldier of fortune he wants to be… for those who read the synopsis in my older posts or my blog, this represent his time in this first book of the series, where he is taking parts in events to gain experience in that field.

That leaves us with the woman in the bottom left… well… I hope one day you will all find out who she is.

Best regards to all avid readers and thriller seekers.

Psychs main site

To create is to have a purpose

That’s how simple it is… everyone is trying to find his/her purpose in life, thinking that they will be happy if they did. Trust me when I tell you this, they are absolutely right. To have a purpose, is like having an assurance that there is a divine plan for you, and it gives your heart the calmness by knowing that you are not life’s byproduct.

Everyone have their own purpose. Learning, working, finding love or getting married… they are necessities, like breathing, and they define our race, nothing more. But a purpose, is something else, its using the very bit of the divine soul that created us all. A purpose is to create, to use that little fragment inside you. Give it shape, give it a sound, let that soul talk, it is the manifestation of your purpose. It wants to write, it wants to draw, it wants to film, it wants to sing… it may wants to do everything, unleash it, let that fragment that created you guide you, it will make you a better person.

I gave shape to my fragment, and thus came a book. I wrote a fiction thriller, and found my self becoming better in my other aspects of life. So please, try to create something in this world, be with purpose, be happy. Let your words enlighten every reader, give them the chill, make them feel romantic, or force them to sit on the edge. Let your drawings capture our hearts, force us to comment, and makes us imagine the story behind its colors and shapes. Let your songs spread joy, sadness, love, or even laughter.

All the best for everyone, may you all give shape to your purpose, and eventually, to your selves.

                      Here is my main site, for those who wanted to know more about me and my fragment